A Ketchup story

“I need that” a baby cried, I looked at the pity little human and remembered how it all started.

Thousand years ago, I was busy tasting my …. Hey! Wait a minute, before that, I need to tell you who I really am, isn’t it?

Let me start this again, I am a vampire, and it is not just me, million vampires like us live among you humans. No, we are not visible to you, I mean, we are not camouflaged. We are good now to pretend like you humans. We visited our special dentists and managed to shape down our fangs like you humans. We don’t really need fangs for now, you know why? Here is the story.

Being a vampire, surviving among you humans is a serious task. You fellow humans never let us live peacefully, always finding a way to hunt us down. Our thirst to blood, is a never ending curse, and we cannot live without it. Our thirst is the main reason why our people got caught by humans, and we were at the edge of our extinction. No, the sunlight or your cross will not kill us, without blood? yeah, that will kill us. That is where I had an idea, vampireureka! I have decided to supply blood with all the multi vitamins, nutrients we required in a pocket, and we called as “Getyourselfup” juice.

Soon, the news spread like a bat across vampire community. We got enough supplies, don’t ask me how? You know it. You know it right? Don’t you? Fine, let me explain that too.

All the blood you people donate, the big corporation that collects blood across the world. Viola! Why we have to go find a human, kidnap him, take the blood, this is a big task and you know, we risked our life into this. Then, my greatest idea made you humans donate blood to us, fools, they think they are giving it for free to save another life, and yes,  they do save life, not another human, but a vampire. Now you understood, how this all works?

And then one day, a billionarie’s kid saw me having a “Getyourselfup” juice. She asked my juice, I hesitated, I know this will happen one day, for this I was prepared, I gave the kid the juice, it was not the blood, but a tomato juice, she asked what is that? I told her “Getyourselfup” the cute little kid said “Ketchup, want more ketchup” whatever it is, I ignored the pronounciation, but see, I asked the human kid whether she liked it, she did.

Guess what then? I had another idea, make it public, sell it, earn from it, so, I made this juice public, for sale, I earned, and we all earned, you don’t worry, half of my factory is filled with humans, and the rest half of us, are definitely 100% pure branded vampires.

Um, now, you know our secret, as you are reading this, I can’t let you live that easily. No, I won’t threaten you, you know? I can take care of this, you won’t realize how it all happened.

Then, the inevitable will happen. It will happen.

If not today, tomorrow.

Oh Grandpa, stop humiliating me, we are vampires for God sake 🙄 and we don’t dance 😐😐

6 thoughts on “A Ketchup story

  1. ha ha makes me laugh!! By the way, many years ago, I read a case of a shopkeeper who was arrested by Police ( I do not recall the city though)who used to sell Bread filled with blood and not ketchup. May be he had some kind of a mental issue. But I don’t know what happened later.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.